So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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