If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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