Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how does that bad decision feel?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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