Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
