i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
