She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
