I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
