I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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