Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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