this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I looked at my own cervix.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
