pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
