She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
