There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
