Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Be still, my beating vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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