READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
