are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize