I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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