you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
