They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ketchup is God's man juice
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I supernannyed him into submission
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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