just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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