Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
