Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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