How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
