margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
