Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
