that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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