don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
