Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
