He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
