I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
