Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
