Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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