i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
