and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
