I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
