she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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