I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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