How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
