I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
