Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
