that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
