Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
