if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
