i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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