I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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