you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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