: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
