this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Even my vagina gasped.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
