someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
