see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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