remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
