If i come over, it means nothing
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
