I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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